an initial attempt at a brief “statement on the Bible & homosexuality”

over the last year especially, both me as an individual and my church (missiongathering) have received several inquiries about our understanding of what the Bible really has to say about homosexuality. most of the inquiries came during and after prop 8, especially when we posted our apology billboards. we have typically been pointing people toward our sermon series that we did in the fall of 2008 called “spirituality & sexuality.” my message dealing with the apostle paul’s writings in the New Testament, sadly, got erased immediately after the gathering…and i’ve still been putting off re-recording it. in an effort to provide some response to the many inquiries, i’ve been planning to write a “statement on the Bible & homosexuality,” but every time i have started, something comes up or the task seems to daunting.

last week we received another such request, so finally today i sat down and drafted an email that is a first attempt at such a statement. the reality is that the emotions, passions, scholarship, theologies, and people are so varied and intense, there are volumes written on both sides trying to come to an understanding. i realize that so much more can be said, but as a starting point, this is what i have come up with. here is the email response:

My name is Alex Roller, and I am the Spiritual Formation Pastor at Missiongathering. I received your email inquiry and am happy to attempt a brief answer via email. In general I have discovered that this conversation is much bigger than an email can handle, and is generally better in person. If you’d like to meet for coffee or something sometime to talk more, I’d be happy to do so. You can also get a sense of our understanding of this issues by listening to the podcasts from our series “Spirituality & Sexuality” from last fall (August-September 2008, to be more specific).

We are a Jesus-centered church that believes, lives (as best we can), and preaches God’s message of grace that we see told throughout the Bible and exemplified in the life of Jesus. We are an evangelical church that believes in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. We are part of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Just wanted to give a bit of that background.

Now to your inquiry… As for the Old Testament, the story of Sodom & Gomorrah is an issue of hospitality – according the Bible itself (Judges); plus if homosexuality was the issue, it wouldn’t have been ALL the men of the town trying to have sex with the men/angels. Another example of this culturally is that a common military practice was for the victorious soldiers to rape the surviving soldiers as further humiliation/dominance in the wake of their defeat. When it comes to the Levitical laws, we have picked & chosen so much of those, that logic makes no sense to hold those as valid points in the argument. We could talk more about the anthropological/historical issues there as well. As for the New Testament, academically our understanding of the issue as typically talked about in the NT comes down to a cultural and contextual understanding of the words “arsenokoites” and “malakos,” the two words in the NT that have now been translated “homosexuality” or “homosexual activity.” (Romans, 1 Corinthians, 1 Timothy) The use of those words in translations actually didn’t appear until the mid-late 20th century.

“Arsenokoites” is a Greek word that Paul may have made up: “arsen” is “man”, “koitos” is bed – and meant culturally/contextually and act of injustice and/or aggression. We only have 80 or so known uses of this word in literature from the time that has been recovered. In extra-Biblical texts this word is used among lists of vices, but not used in the lists of sexual vices. Instead it is found in lists of vices dealing with exploitation, power, and economics – slavery, dominance, prostitution, etc. The other word, “malakos,” is found hundreds of times in Greek literature. It’s contextual & cultural meaning was about valuing the pleasures of the world – fine clothes, wine, food, leisure – than the virtues of courage & victory in battle, etc.; the idea of being “soft.” In plays, literature, etc., men who were described as “malakos” were sought after by women to do very heterosexual things with them (sorry if that seems vulgar or crass).

The root issues are two-fold at the heart of the NT passages (Romans 1, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, 1 Tim. 1:8-10): idolatry and injustice. Romans 1 is a list of vices that Paul sums up as idolatry. When God “gave them over” to their desires – Greek paradoken – it was not to condemn but to save them. They were so lost in their perspective, which included greed, gossip, lying, murder, etc., that they had completely lost sight of what was true – “traded truth for a lie.” The meaning of the word is “to deliver” and is used elsewhere in 1 Cor. and 1 Tim. to mean exactly that. They were in such a search for pleasure, absorbed in their own selfishness, and inattentive to the reality and needs of others that they lost sight of God. The context of the church in Rome were a lot of gentiles, heathens, and pagans becoming and interacting with new Christians who were more interested in earthly pursuits than spiritual ones. We see here in the idols they worshipped and the actions those led to also the idea of injustice that is the list of “sins” in 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy, which are acts that violate the lives of others. The Hebrew word for those actions of injustice, violating the lives of others is “hamas,” which is the root issue that caused God to send the flood in Genesis 6-9. The sin is that the acts were used to dominate, exploit, or control others, violating their lives as human beings.

As a church, we believe that the same healthy principles apply to all human beings, and we desire for all people in our congregation who are entering into relationship with another person to have healthy relationships – committed, loving, faithful, honest, Christ-centered relationships. The Bible doesn’t directly address committed same-sex relationships as it does heterosexual relationships, but we can apply the same healthy principles to same-sex relationships too. Some scholars believe that there are, in fact, loving same-sex relationships portrayed in the Bible, including one who Jesus interacted with (the Roman Centurian and the healing of his beloved servant). Jesus Himself never talks about it, but does in fact go to the marginalized and the outcast with a message of inclusion, grace, and love, calling all of God’s creation and people to live lives in greater pursuit of the heart of God – loving the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and loving our neighbor as ourselves. After thousands of years of God journeying with humanity, God boils it down to those 2 commands which have at the heart of both the issue of love.

There is MUCH more than can be discussed, I know. Believe me, I’ve been immersed in this for a long time. But this is a basic beginning of where we are coming from. I hope that it helps in some way. Let me know if you’d like to talk further (preferably in person) about our understanding from an academic perspective and also from the understanding brought to us on this topic through MUCH prayer and meditation with God and the Holy Spirit.

Blessings,
Alex

i hope that this “statement” will at least serve as a foundation for understanding and dialogue around this topic. for other of my thoughts on this topic, search anything in the “social justice” category, and especially those in the “a new civil rights movement” series. may God continue to bring understanding and most of all GRACE in the midst of our journeys. ~aroll

when words fail…a return to oral tradition?

as we have been journeying through our series on the old testament, we have been talking about how the Bible came into existence, the history of God and God’s people, and the power of story and parable. for thousands of years the stories that we now know to be most of the old testament were passed down through oral tradition. stories of the beginning of the world, God interacting with humanity, the migrations of the jewish people were carried on from generation to generation simply by the telling of story, even acting the story out in dramatic fashion. eventually as humans developed written language theses stories were standardized and put to paper…well papyrus scrolls at the time. scribes were trusted to copy these scrolls meticulously to ensure their preservation and continuity. more stories were written and added, the psalms, the prophets, etc., and eventually the Gospels and epistles after the time of Jesus. hundreds of years later councils would argue in heated fashion before deciding what books would be canonized as the Bible we know today. these words written and printed now for thousands of years have passed on a story, a rich history of God and humanity.

at some point printed words fail us; something gets lost in translation. we see it when we send emails, chat via instant message or chat rooms – we look for ways to convey inflection and emotion that is so easily done with our voice and facial expressions interacting face to face, or even over the phone. certainly we can convey emotion through the written word; how many times have you cried reading a romance novel or gotten anxious reading a mystery? but it takes a great writer with carefully crafted words to evoke such emotion. the oral tradition allowed for the conveyance of emotion with such ease…especially as these moments were shared as a whole community, clan, village, and family.

what if we were to revive the oral tradition? as people of faith? as friends? as families? i believe that we are at a unique time when the ability to gather even via video is so prevalent that we can pass on a new depth of story and history to one another and subsequent generations than we ever have before. so much of our lives and journeys – with God, with one another, with ourselves – contain such a vast array of emotion and detail that it’s seemingly impossible to capture that with words. humanity is meant to be in community, so what if we were intentional about sharing our stories with one another in community? stories of our lives, stories of faith, stories of hardship and trials, stories of joy and celebration…and then allow these stories to be told as a part of our faith heritage, our familial heritage, our communal heritage. video of these conversations and storytelling moments, photos of our interactions, etc. could create such meaningful and rich treasure for our children and their children and their children…

to whom are you telling your story? in what community are you sharing in the richness of one another’s stories? what oral, or now video, history and tradition are you a part of creating and passing on? it’s never to late to find that community or start telling your story… ~aroll

class reflection wk 2 – origins of the disciples of Christ

so here is my discussion board post for week 2 of my seminary class. it may or may not make sense, but want to post my thoughts each week. i will likely post a follow-up to this tomorrow to expand on a couple of points.

I will start by saying I am enjoying learning the background of our denomination. It does help some things make sense and put into perspective why even within our district and our region there is such variety of theological beliefs, worship styles, community, etc. The Haldanean idea of congregational autonomy is certainly very present still today. For a religious movement, however, that is described as so quintessentially “American,” its founders, influences, and ideas were all very European – from Locke, to the Haldanes, to the Scotch-Irish church crises, to the Enlightenment. Certainly the western expansion in America was something the British could only really experience vicariously (through North American expansion or news from India), so in that respect that aspect of the Stone-Campbell movement truly was American.

The influences of John Locke especially are seen in the “blue-collar” feel of the Disciples movement, I believe. In a time when the church was very hierarchical and a large part of the population had no or little access to education, the idea that religion/faith/spirituality were a matter for the individual’s attention was revolutionary. Then to take that to the extent of separating the church from state control espoused the idea of more local, communal autonomy, which certainly competed against the sustainability to some degree of a centralized authority (king, governor, etc.). In this respect the influence of Locke in American Christianity is completely expected as the same ideas were influencing the politics and culture of the American society around the church. I feel that in this time of church history there may have been one of the most healthy balances between church influencing culture and vice versa.

The toleration proposed by Locke in combination with Thomas Campbell’s exposure to the Haldanean movement and participation in the Evangelical Society of Ulster obviously impacted his beliefs and approach to church. Having lived through the various schisms in the Scotch-Irish churches, T. Campbell would certainly be very sensitive to that coming to the New World. These formative experiences I’m sure greatly eased the ability of the Campbells to find common ground with Barton Stone whose own experiences of ecumenicism at the Cane Ridge Camp Meeting opened his eyes to the power of many expressions of faith, worship, and teaching working in congress with one another. The education and sobering real-life experiences of T. Campbell possibly helped temper the emotionalism that Stone was frequently exposed to in the revival scene of the western frontier. Toulouse clarifies Pearson’s observations that “[Campbell’s reasonable formulation of faith] enabled Disciples to present a gospel that stood between the two great temptations of the time period: the pure emotionalism of many revivalist preachers and the pure rationalism prevalent among many of the eastern seaboard preachers.”

With the rise of individualism in the private and work lives of Americans, the idea that individuals could arrive at there own intellectual understanding of the Bible fit right in. We can build our own lives on the frontier, why not build our own individual (and eventually localized communal) understanding of God. In many respects I feel that the American church today has moved away from that in large part. With the development of so many associations and growth of many mega-churches, there seems to be a move back to the place of simply being taught by the lead pastor/preacher/teacher and taking those words, beliefs, theologies at face value. There doesn’t seem to be much passion in American Christians to own their theology. Many young people, especially in more conservative, evangelical worlds, simply take on the mantle of their parents’ faith somewhat blindly, an idea that Locke viewed as literally “absurd.” In a time when we have independent access to a wealth of resources online, people have never been in a better place to explore their own individual understanding of the reasonableness of Christianity, yet so many people don’t investigate sermons, dogma, etc. on their own. Even during the time of the genesis of the Disciples, individuals were able to take advantage of Christian periodicals and participate in the sharing of ideas while today so many Americans have become lazy about their faith.

As a relatively new member of the Disciples community (about 3 years now), I feel I have little perspective to speak on how these early influences may or may not be alive and well in Disciples churches today apart from my own observations & experiences in my church in San Diego (Missiongathering Christian Church). In that respect, these influences are certainly alive and well in our congregation. Obviously the Haldanean traditions of immersion (we set up a portable baptismal in the middle of the room for our baptisms to make this happen!) and weekly celebration of the Lord’s Supper are central to who we are as a congregation. We believe very strongly in a communal hermeneutic and understanding scripture as our local church community is led by the Holy Spirit, personal experiences, studying, etc., and every week we challenge our congregation to investigate things for themselves. I feel a strong tie to the founders of the Disciples in what we are venturing into within our church expression at Missiongathering.

i’d love any thoughts, dialogue, perspective if anyone cares to participate in this journey with me! ~aroll

my return to academia – the history & polity of the christian church

so this week begins (hopefully longer than just a semester) my return to academia. jay, rich, and i are all auditing a course at claremont school of theology for our licensing with our denomination – the christian church (disciples of Christ). the course that we must audit (or pay 6 times as much to take for credit) is “the history and polity of the christian church.” that makes you jump right out of bed and run to class, right? luckily (maybe) this is an online course for which there is much reading, many discussion board posts, and two projects. while yes i was working full time during my time at the university of tulsa pursuing my undergrad, my full time job currently seems a bit more demanding than my role in full time junior high ministry. managing my time is certainly going to be a fun project of its own.

our first task last week was simply to post a brief bio, our connection to the christian church (disciples of Christ) – or doc, what we hope to get out of the course, etc. upon reading everyone else’s bios, i really feel like a runt of the litter (and i’d guess rich & jay feel the same way, but i can’t speak for them). most of them are already seminary educated, some with their doctoral degrees, and long histories in the doc. my church – missiongathering christian church – has only been a part of the doc for 6 years, and i’ve only been familiar with them for 3 since i started attending. what i do know of them so far, i am very comfortable with…and it certainly is a good place for missiongathering.

i think that i will be posting my discussion board posts on here as well. i’d be interested to get people’s feedback, thoughts, etc. about my interpretation of this aspect of church history. plus the class is only 12 or 13 people. more brains the merrier! wish me luck!! ~aroll

silence & inaction in the church – an apology from a friend prompted by “MILK”

tuesday i received an email from a very good friend with the subject line: just saw harvey millk. after i got past my shock that she had just seen the movie, i read the email…and was crying by the end. this friend has been alongside me for much of my journey of being outed and coming out, processing things with my faith and how the church i was serving at the time treated me, so when i read what turned into an apology, i was a bit surprised. here’s the email:

Yes, in the middle of the day I watched harvey milk on demand. Watching
movies in the middle of a weekday is rare and slightly embarrassing, but I
did it today. Wow. What a moving story.

I remember anita bryant. I was young enough that I only vaguely understood
the word gay. I didn’t get the political/cultural conflict surrounding it
at all. I remember sitting with friends at the a&w down the street and we
were talking about her and giving our opinions on the issue. I said I didn’t
think being gay was bad, that she should let people alone.

I hadn’t remembered that for a long time. Seeing all that footage of anita
bryant, hearing her words, the religious right, wow. What a line that was
drawn in the sand.

sometime in the future I got the gist of what gay meant in my world and
realized that my opinion was unacceptable, even shameful. I stopped talking
about it. In fact, I just let it be. I didn’t think it through for myself.
Of course I was a kid, but I did grow up and it took until I was at least 30
to even begin to think about it in any meaningful way.

I feel the need to apologize for being part of that world of oppression, for
being on that side of the line in the sand, even if I was an inactive part.
So how about if I represent the side who in ignorance, laziness and fear
either sat on our hands or actively caused pain to others. And how about if
you represent the people whose rights are somehow more negotiable than
others rights. I’m sorry, alex. You’ve been wronged. I’m sorry.

Watching this movie today and recalling my life while all this was
happening, seeing prop 6 footage and recalling prop 8…i feel grief and I
also feel joy. I’m sad for my insensitivity and ignorance in the past. I’m
grateful that I’m on the other side of the line today. I’m sad that there’s
still a fight but glad that there’s been some important movement
politically, culturally.

I’m just all veclempt (no idea how to spell that )

I love you friend alex,

i think you can probably understand why i was in tears, but how powerful is that statement? how often have we in the church sat on our hands on other issues, not just the issue of lgbt rights in society and the church, but on issues of poverty, injustice, war, and other discrimination? i know for my friend she never wanted for the Church to treat other children of God in this manner, but she apologized anyway. in similar fashion, missiongathering apologized after prop 8 on behalf of the Christian community even though we ourselves fought against this legislation.

it is time that all people of faith, whether we have been actively involved in the oppression or not, to stand up for the message of grace, love, and acceptance for all people. at what point do we allow our hearts to recognize the hurts that we have inflicted on others – through direct action as well as inaction? how then do we patch those wounds? how can we bring about change? by hearing and sharing stories with those around us from all walks of life. and not just hearing the stories, but listening…entering into the stories, the pain, the passion of other human beings. in them we find pieces of ourselves and glimpses of the face of God.

thank you, friend, for your heart, your friendship, your love, your ear, your shoulder…and for your apology. love you… ~aroll

the message of babel: part 1 – the creation commandment

when we decided to do our “God in film” series at missiongathering, i knew immediately what movie i wanted to talk about – “babel.” the movie didn’t seem to get much attention, but it’s an amazing film that wrestles with intense issues of cultural diversity and the inherent need for us as human beings to be able to communicate – to belong, to be understood, to be heard. the trailer for the film uses text genesis 11 – the story of the tower of babel – as the voiceover.

the story of the tower of babel always intrigued me, and especially in more recent years as my picture and understanding of God has grown it has been one of the passages i really wrestle with…like God hardening pharaoh’s heart. how could a loving God of grace intentionally malign his own creation? but as i began to dig into the story as an integral part of the creation narrative, i saw something different emerge. what if the Divine Council’s confusion of the languages was not punishment, but was instead God’s way around man’s desire to short-circuit the creation commandments of genesis 1 & genesis 9 to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth?

much like his city-building mentor cain, nimrod goes east of where his family/ancestors had landed off the ark to establish babylon and the city of babel as the first post-flood city. there human ingenuity grows as they discover to fashion bricks instead of using stones. and there they decide to stop wandering as God commanded them and instead they say, “come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth” (gen. 11:4). i’ll deal with the “name for ourselves” bit in another post. here the people of babel are acting in direct opposition to the will of God. God could have pulled another flood out of His hat, but instead remembers the covenant He made with noah and instead confuses the language of the people and scatters them. God uses this act to bring fulfillment of diversity and care to the rest of creation. if we look at the incredible diversity of the rest of creation – plants, animals, insects, etc. – why wouldn’t we think that God would do that within the part of creation God deemed very good?

God created all of the earth and desired for it to be full of life and flourish. certainly we have now done our fair share to mar that creation, but we are beginning to reclaim our responsibility to care for creation, doing our best to right the wrongs of our reckless abuse of our natural resources. the diversity of creation certainly is evident these days in art, culture, fashion, music, government, families, people, animals, plants…you name it!

fast forward to the end of Jesus’ time on earth. at the end of matthew and in the beginning of acts, Jesus gives us (i believe) an addendum to the creation commandment to fill the earth, be fruitful, and flourish:

“therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” and “you will be my witnesses in jerusalem, and in all judea and samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

the first, and fairly obvious connection, is the correlation of “the ends of the earth.” gen. 1:28 & 9:7 both say to “fill the earth;” gen. 11:1 & 11:8 both refer to the “whole earth/world.” then Jesus says we will be His witnesses to “the ends of the earth.” God, from the beginning of creation to the redemption of creation through Jesus on the cross, has had (and always will have) a whole-earth perspective. God’s ways, as the psalmist says, are higher than our ways. so often we don’t see the much larger, global, full-humanity, full-creation picture that God designed and sees. we as humans have a very hard time seeing past our immediate wants and needs, so our egos and our assumption we know what’s best to meet those immediate needs sabotages God’s best for us and ultimately for the world.

second, in telling us to be His witnesses to the ends of the earth and make disciples of all nations, Jesus extends the creation commandment by helping the the whole earth to truly flourish and thrive in the knowledge and freedom of the love and grace of God. it’s not a commissioning to conquer the world. far from it. we are to be witnesses to the life and ministry of Jesus – one of healing those who are hurting, giving community to the outcast and marginalized, freeing those bound by slavery and religion. God created the earth and humans with the potential for great things with God. that’s the key…with God. not on our own. the full joy of heaven and fullness of life in creation is found only in and with God.

how do we listen to and find the fullness of creation in the diversity of this world? how can we be witnesses of Jesus’ message to other cultures, peoples, and places while respecting and celebrating that diversity?

~aroll

the message of babel – audio, notes, & study guide

this past weekend, i preached the second week of our “God in film” series on the movie “babel.” great movie if you haven’t seen it. i will be posting at least 3 posts about various aspects of this movie and the story of the tower of babel. but to start, here are the links to the audio of the message, my notes, and the study guide. enjoy! ~aroll

the message of babel – audio
the message of babel – sermon notes (link coming soon…upload issues)
the message of babel – study guide (link coming soon…upload issues)

the beauty of healing – wholeness & naked intimacy

let’s be honest and admit that we are all broken people. i’m sure we could all agree that every human being, regardless of diagnosable mental illness, would benefit from seeing a therapist. beyond that, many of us have physical ailments, injuries, disease, etc. that plague our bodies and lives. there are part of our lives – mind, body, and soul – that long to be healed, restored, and made whole.

God desires wholeness, both in the hearts & lives of his children as well as wholeness in the world of his creation and kingdom. it was God’s intention in the very beginning when God created the garden of eden and God spent time walking around in naked intimacy with humans. “naked intimacy” isn’t something dirty and perverse. when you stop think about it in the context of our relationship with God it’s a very beautiful thing – no fear of condemnation, judgment, or shame but the reality of a loving and grace-full God who calls us to wholeness and knows everything that we deal with. it’s being honest about our faults and failures with God and remembering that God created us and helps give us the strength to change, to move toward wholeness, and heals our brokenness.

sometimes it can be very difficult to move out of our brokenness into a healed life. we become so comfortable in the routine of our brokenness that it becomes scary to change, even though it may be much better for us. even in the midst of God doing healing work in us, we might have to change in order to live into that healing. once we do embrace that healing and take another step toward wholeness, it may mean stepping out and being a part someone else’s healing. when we enter into that process with someone else, we engage in the same spiritually naked intimacy that we desire with God….oh, and how we are changed when we enter into the suffering and the healing of others. we are reminded of God’s grace, compassion, power, and purpose, both for us and for the world.

how have you been healed? where do you need to seek wholeness? how can you engage in the healing of others? ~aroll

study guide available here.

mr. san diego pride 2009!

so, much to my surprise, i was voted mr. san diego pride 2009!! i didn’t know what to expect walking in, but it was a night of entertainment, speeches (lots of different ideas of what “pride” means to people), drag queens, and a new understanding of what the imperial court de san diego is all about (thanks to a very helpful speech from empress illana). several of my friends came out to cheer me on which definitely meant a lot to me, friends who have been with me along my whole journey and new friends who i’ve just met recently. unfortunately there is not video of the evening, but i wish there had been a camera on my face when they announced my name…i was in shock! below you will find the speech that i gave. it’s mostly from the last post i wrote about the nomination, with a few additions & revisions.

i remember my first pride just a few years ago, before i was out, and being at the parade paranoid that someone would see me…and to now be standing here with this opportunity is really exciting.

i am incredibly honored to even be nominated to represent a movement like pride. pride celebrates the diversity of the lgbt community, our place in the cultural landscape of the globe, and especially this year with the 40th anniversary of stonewall remembering the work that has been done and sacrifices that have been made to bring greater equality for members of our community. i support the fight for equality and am a part of that fight; i believe that every person should be able to be proud of who he or she is without fear of retribution (yes, even when our opinions differ and even contradict); i believe that many parts of at least american culture need to be made aware of what the lgbt community contributes to their day-to-day lives. pride is about remembering who we are, where we have come from, and where we are headed.

while proud of the fact that i am part of a diverse community, my sexuality does not define me. i don’t introduce myself saying, “hi, i’m alex. i’m gay,” just as a heterosexual person doesn’t introduce himself saying, “hi, i’m joe. i’m straight.” it’s a part of who i am, but it isn’t the sum total of who i am. who i am is much bigger than that. it took me a long time to realize that, and to reconcile my faith with that part of who i am. i dream of a day when every member of the lgbt community around the world could be proud about who they are without fear of discrimination. a day when the voice of our community is not dismissed as extreme, minority, or as an abomination….maybe even when it’s a voice just as valid as anyone else’s – not labeled, but “normal” instead….and in San Diego where Prop 8 had its beginnings, that there would be dialogue with the larger faith community than just those churches & synagogues who are supportive and welcoming of our community. i’m so grateful to have found my church – Missiongathering Christian Church – who welcomes and celebrates me just the way i am… my hope is that we all will find a place where we can be proud of who we were created to be and love who our hearts are drawn to love.

so i am proud because i am a part of a community of people which celebrates our uniqueness; a community of people which knows the importance of true family; a community of people which finds strength in the stories of one another; a community of people who finds courage in their history; a community of people who are…just that – people….beautiful people created by God…and that is what Pride means to me.

i was pretty certain that the guy who spoke before me was going to win, so when i heard my name announced i was in shock! i got a medal and a plaque (still to come). i am supposed to be on a float with the other winners, but i will be on the missiongathering float wearing my medal.

they still haven’t told me what all this means beyond pride weekend, so hopefully i get that info soon! i am, however, becoming more excited. more than anything i hope that i will be able to open some dialogue between the lgbt and faith communities in san diego, help spread the reality of who we are as people, and bring greater awareness to the issues of equality – marriage, civil rights, employment, hate crimes, military, and society – to many who don’t have an accurate perspective. i am realizing this is a bigger deal to me than i thought. who know what doors this will open for our community, for missiongathering, and even for me. ~aroll

a pageant…am i crazy? – my thoughts about pride & prejudice (no, not the novel)

so wednesday morning i woke up to an email that san diego pride had posted something on my wall on facebook. this time of year that’s not really a surprise given the festivities that kick-off next week. so i read the post on my wall and went into a mixture of confusion, shock, nervousness, and happiness. here’s what it said:

Congratulations! You have been nominated for this years San Diego Pride pageant in the category of Mr. San Diego Pride 2009!

i was caught completely off-guard. as soon as i got to the office i called my friend ken who is the dir. of development for sd pride. the conversation went something like this:

me: “hey ken…so i got this post on my facebook page this morning…”
ken: “you sure did…” (i think he was smirking while he said this based on the tone of his voice)
me: “wow…so what is this? who all is nominated?”
ken: “we’ve nominated 20 people in each of three categories (mr., mrs., & ms. san diego pride) from different ages, races, and involvement in the community to represent pride for the next year. we thought you were a great candidate.”
me: fumbling for words “wow…thanks! what an honor. what do i need to do?”

so apparently i can wear whatever i want – it’s not a swimsuit or eveningwear competition – and will have 1-3 minutes to give a speech. there is a panel of 3 judges who also will take input from audience applause. the winner in each category gets a medallion, a plaque, and will ride in the parade. i was already planning to be in the parade on the float for my church – missiongathering – but this is something totally different.

i am incredibly honored to even be nominated to represent a movement like pride. pride celebrates the diversity of the lgbt community, our place in the cultural landscape of the globe, and especially this year with the 40th anniversary of the stonewall riots remembering the work that has been done and sacrifices that have been made to bring greater equality for members of the lgbt community. i support the fight for equality and am a part of that fight; i believe that every person should be able to be proud of who he or she is without fear of retribution (yes, even when our opinions differ and even contradict); i believe that many parts of at least american culture need to be aware of what the lgbt community contributes to their day-to-day lives. pride is about remembering who we are, where we have come from, and where we are headed.

while incredibly honored, i’m also incredibly nervous about the idea of being “mr. san diego pride 2009.” there is a significant weight to it in my head and conflict within me. while proud of the fact that i am part of a diverse community, my sexuality does not define me. i don’t introduce myself saying, “hi, i’m alex. i’m gay,” just as a heterosexual person doesn’t introduce himself saying, “hi, i’m joe. i’m straight.” it’s a part of who i am, but it isn’t the sum total of who i am. i dream of a day when pride is an everyday feeling for the lgbt community and not simply a festival and a parade. a day when every member of the lgbt community around the world could be proud about who they are without fear of discrimination. a day when the voice of our community is not dismissed as extreme, minority, or as an abomination….maybe even when it’s just a voice – not labeled, but “normal” instead.

granted, our community has been stereotyped due to a lot of public scandals and spectacles. but so has nearly every group labeled as “other” since the beginning of the human era. “prejudice” comes from a place of making assumptions about that which is unknown…making pre-judgments. we have a saying around the church that “when i listen to the story of another person, the distance between us decreases.” in discovering the true heart and nature of a person prejudice melts away.

so i am proud because i am a part of a community of people which celebrates our uniqueness; a community of people which knows the importance of true family; a community of people which finds strength in the stories of one another; a community of people who finds courage in their history; a community of people who are…just that – people.

now…to summarize that in 1-3 minutes… ~aroll

*note: if you live in san diego, please come to the center in hillcrest at 7:00pm, sunday, july 12 and cheer me on!